Bring Comfort
Having toddlers in the house is not the norm for us anymore. We had grand babies stay with us for a week and it was a very busy time. It was a wonderful visit.
Today, my daughter brought some children over for lunch. The baby was grumpy and whining while my daughter was trying to prepare the meal. I entered the room and immediately sat on the floor on the other side of the table and put my shoes on.
I made eye contact with her, but made it clear that I was on the floor to put my shoes on by paying attention to my feet. When I could see that she was not intimidated by me, I began to pay a bit of peek-a-boo. Then, I was able to get a little closer and in short order picked her up and brought her out of the area, but within sight of her caretaker.
She appeared comfortable. So, I brought her to the closet and got a couple of pieces of cereal. I ate one and then offered her one. She took it, but held it in her hand. We then walked around the house and after a bit, went up to the playroom where she was very pleased to play.
She was happy and ready to have lunch.
Earlier in the week, my grandson had been very upset. He’s two and I couldn’t make out what was the matter. I gave him a bubble bath and realized that he was just uncomfortable and maybe over heated by the wood stove in the room where he’d been. He was soon his pleasant self again.
I have long held that when we go through some difficulty or some tragedy has befallen us, we have a variety of responses that will lead us to a trajectory of our own making. We may be aware and intentional, but I think more often we are swept away by the circumstances and it may even take intervention for us to regain our bearings.
The Bible says, “You shall comfort others with that of which you yourself were comforted.” I think this gets lost.
If we don’t actively think about how we deal with situations, we could be thrown into a quagmire of despair or self pity or self destructive behavior. So we need each other.
The illustrations of the children above are to remind us of that face that when we try to approach people that need to be comforted and redirected, we need to empathize: to get into their space without being pushy, to meet them where they are, to recognize their need for security and be cautious not to breach it, to provide positive experiences, and to then reflect on how those needs were or were not met.
In those ways we can become the very person to comfort others that way we need to be comforted. No one is perfect and we all practice this life everyday. Let’s practice thoughtfully.
This whole discussion is why Rachel’s Vineyard works to bring healing to post abortive women and men. The directors have been through the same or very similar situations. They have no illusions about what it takes to bring healing to a woman who has had an abortion, because they have done the same.
Empathy is different than sympathy. Are you able to comfort people with empathy?