5 Ways to Have a Happy New Year

Lots of people still set New Years’ Resolutions. Lots of statistics show they seldom stick. Lots of people choose strategies for goal setting that really work for life.

Early in my marriage, Mark and I had few times out alone together. We started our marriage with two small children and had three more. We’d assess our lives and how we’d grown as people. We’d thank each other for prompts and accountability and than God for the self revelation.

Mark and I came from nearly opposite backgrounds. He grew up in a stable, upper-middle class family. His dad was a business owner and his mom was their homemaker. He had a great relationship with them, but his dad died when he was 13. Things were tough after that, but they didn’t lose their home and he attended college and lived in his childhood home until he was 25.

I was conceived by rape. My mom married her rapist and he was violent and cruel, to her and to my sister and me. She divorced him, but we were not free. We moved every year. There was stability for a while with her second husband, but the child sexual abuse continued on weekends. Molested by a maternal uncle, then trafficked for four tumultuous years. I left school before seventh grade. I was pregnant by 18 and threatened with death, if I didn’t have an abortion. I faked an abortion to get free.

We grew together. Each of us had our own very different set of issues, but we did the things I’m sharing with you here. It is important to remember that happiness is related to what happens. The things I’m sharing are really about increasing joy. I hope these strategies will bring you a very happy, healthy new year and help you grow in grace and peace for many more to come.

1. Keep short accounts. Pay attention to all of your relationships. When you’re going about your day, think about the people you interact with and ask yourself, if you need to make any changes in your communication. Have you been in strife with someone? Is there anything you can do to change the words you use with them? Do you need to shrug? Are there things that the do that irritate you, but they are not harmful? Is there anything you should apologize for? Is there someone who needs your encouragement? Perhaps, you could really make a difference in their life.
2. Self evaluate. Use you ability to stand outside of yourself to look at your own behavior. Consider how the things you say and do affect the people around you. Consider how they affect you. Do your words encourage? Or do they discourage? Are you taking good care of yourself? Do you provide for those impacted by your lifestyle? Are you keeping commitments?
3. Find an acceptability partner. This is tricky, because you really need to trust the person that you choose. To be partners, you have to both decide to be honest and kind. Set out to build slowly. You don’t need to bare all to this person. You could start out with simple changes that you want to make and have no provision for advice, just accountability. So, if you say, “it’s making me crazy” a lot and you realize that your words have power, you might want to change it to something like, “this is frustrating”. This would be the only thing discussed when you get together. Baby steps…
4. Celebrate accomplishments. It is really important to recognize growth and milestones. It may be as simple as making your bed in the morning before work or getting the kitchen clean before bed. It could be as dynamic as changing jobs or developing new vocabulary that eliminates superlatives and negative statements and substitutes positive affirmations. Simply talking about your victory is great. Some people really enjoy more ceremony and why not use it as an excuse to do something special?
5. Watch your mouth. Our whole world was created by the Word of God. Even if you don’t believe that, we all have experienced that time when we say something and it comes to pass. It’s often called a self-fulfilling prophecy. Say what you want, not just what you have. You might think, “I hate my job”, but say, “I can get through this, until a better opportunity comes.” You have one mouth, two eyes and two ears. To me, that means we should see and hear twice as much as we speak.

What plans do you have for the coming year?