Lyme Life ~Testing Boundaries

I’ve been sick as long as I can remember. For so much of my life, doctors told me I was stressed. So, I pressed through. I went to work part-time, raised my children, kept the house, maintained my marriage, and managed to do a great deal of volunteer work. I lived life testing boundaries.

Testing Boundaries

In 1990, I was told I had Yuppy Flu, also known as Cronic Fatigue Syndrome or Fibromyalgia. I could get a good run in, going weeks at a level of energy output and productivity, but inevitably I’d crash for a day or five. My kids survived those times. Though I wish it were not that way, we all made it. We were all testing boundaries, too.

Chronic illness sufferers make choices differently than healthy people. We look at life with a whole set of criteria that seems silly to young strong people. When deciding to do things, we have to take into account the entirety of the activity, its impact on our energy output, our pain index and fatigue, what else we have to do in the days preceding and after, what we will eat, our access to self-care, medications, scheduling alternatives, environmental factors, other support systems. Another person might think about whether or not they want to do it.

I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease in February of 2015, officially. In that year, I spoke 26 times. About half were telephone interviews. I was able to take them, because of the low impact. The others were mostly local and although taxing, I managed. I did not cancel, but once. I left my job in March. The strenuous demands were just too much.

This year has been up and down. On many meds and supplements, diets and other protocols. I’d reached a level of functioning that allowed me to maintain a relatively clean house and take care of the dog, writing and doing a few projects. I worked on some volunteer initiatives and interviewed a dozen candidates. Some were more difficult than others. So, I decided it was time to test my boundaries.

New Tests for my New Normal

I scheduled a two-week trip. I visited one daughter for a few days, then attended a training for speakers, which was great, and then, I visited another daughter and her children for five days. The first visit was relatively low-key. We did a few home improvement projects and enjoyed each other. My energy held up well through the conference. Although I did crash for a few hours one day, I was able to participate in most of it.

By the time I got to the last leg, I was having more neurological problems. Pain, stiffness, mild tremors that were easily hidden, headache and anxiety. It was probably the high energy requirement and less than optimal sleeping arrangement. However, I was pleased with the results of my test.

It took four days to officially recover. Obviously, that is not great. I have a good gauge of what I can handle, though.

Many people with chronic illness might test their boundaries differently. I read other blogs. Some approach their test with similar levels of risk, others more or less. If you have Lyme or another chronic illness, you know you have limitations. It is important to test them once in a while.

I wish I could give you solutions. For now, I encourage you to keep trying things, keep testing your boundaries, keep pressing. As long as you are breathing, you are here for a purpose. I’m praying for you.

Why not tell us how you test your boundaries in the comments? What are some of the things you’re working on?