I’m fine –it’s just pain
We smile and nod when people ask us how we are. If you are like a lot of people with chronic or neurological Lyme Disease, the thought of answering the question conjures up no end to excuses to answer with a polite, “I’m fine” rather than anything close to the truth.
Most people don’t actually want to know how you are when they ask. They are being social. Often, people ask as a greeting with no intention of engaging in conversation.
On occasion, someone who knows I have Lyme Disease will ask me how I am or if I’m ok, particularly if the catch me wincing. Even then, I smile and say, “I’m fine.”
If it is one of a handful of people, they don’t press because they are aware of Lyme and the myriad of symptoms I could list at that moment. Their inquiry is a way of saying that they care. A few others might press but not too much and I might say, “Oh, I’m just uncomfortable.” In actuality, I am probably in near-tears pain. I may go into the bathroom, cry, wash my face and come back attempting to hold it together. Or I may try to pretend to be fine when I cannot even sit still in a chair for half an hour playing cards. That is exhausting. But, we do it, right?
Because, really, they don’t want to hear it and neither do we.
We don’t want to be that person who complains. We don’t want to risk abandonment either. I don’t know about you but I want the company. Lyme has a way of isolating us.
The only thing is when we smile and say, “I’m fine,” we isolate ourselves too, by not letting people into our reality. So, let a few people know a little here and there. Stay connected. Don’t let the isolation become your whole reality. Find a support group or trusted friend that you can be real with. As long as you are breathing there is hope.
So, smile and know that the rest of us are doing the same and many of us are praying for the rest of us to be healed. My hope is in God but I do keep my eyes and ears open for new protocols or healing methods. If I find anything that is particularly helpful, I’ll pass it on.
This will be the last Lyme Life Monday for a while. I’m changing my schedule and there are plenty of helpful Lyme blogs to be had. A few are actively changing things in the medical and political realms. I hope you don’t feel like you wasted your time reading.
With all of my heart, I wish you all my best.