We Are All Quirky
Everyone has their own unique quirks.
I’m a freak about traveling. My daughter checks the oven and stove multiple times before leaving the house. Another checks the door to her business at least twice. My husband looks for lyrics to songs to fit the most mundane situations. You are quirky too. That doesn’t diminish our dignity. It acknowledges our humanity.
Perhaps, your not a freak, but there is surely some things that you do in life that others find odd, unusual, or unique. Maybe your family has a holiday custom or some ritual that is passed down through the generations.
What is normal?
Normal is the most subjective term when it comes to people and relationships. There are some basic boundaries we look for.
Does it cause harm to others?
Obviously, checking the stove numerous times won’t hurt anyone. Neither will checking door locks or cooking certain foods or displaying particular decorations, hanging lights etc.
If there is a cycle of hitting, apologizing, pouting, then making up, that is not healthy. Sometimes, even sarcasm can get out of hand, but if you can ask the person to stop and be kind, no harm done, right? In some cases, when the person is verbally cutting another down constantly it can be detrimental.
Do adults have agency?
Adults with normal cognitive abilities should be able to make decisions about their lives. Married couples, roomies, and family members often consult with one another, but one person in control of another is not healthy. The autonomy to come and go is really important.
If someone is telling another when they can eat, sleep, work, etc. That is not consistent with cultural norms in America. We believe in liberty and justice for all.
Does it cause harm to yourself?
Some of our habits are benign. Scrolling through Facebook in the afternoon may be fine for some. For others, the time might be better sent on self care activities, housework, child interaction, work, or some other pursuit. If a walk in the park is good, is a four hour workout better? Not usually. For most people taking that much time from responsibilities can cause problems.
This is where self evaluation comes in. Each of us has to consider the ramifications of our decisions for us and our sphere of influence.
Are your frequent habits benefitting your life?
Our lives here are often really difficult. From all kinds of strife and relational tension to catastrophe, accidents, and death. Life is not easy for anyone. But we can do things that help us to be healthy in our bodies and in our minds. Eating good whole foods, getting enough physical activity and rest are crucial.
Habits take effort to form, but the reward is a life well spent. The initial sacrifice and failure to get on track can be discouraging. We each have to find ways to keep going.
Does your inadequacy bring glory to God?
That may sound like a goofy question, but no one is perfectly on point at all times. As I said, we all have quirks. Each of us is uniquely gifted with abilities and strengths, as well as weaknesses and faults. Taking inventory of how we are created can really help us to live well in His strength. We bring glory to Him by acknowledging when we need help, shining in our gifts, and sharing the grace that we enjoy with those around us.
The calling of God is irrevocable. That doesn’t mean that everyone is called to the same thing. You may be a dentist, a farmer, an artist, and at the same time you are a person, living among other people. Our high calling is to live according to the two commandments Jesus gave.
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and strength. The second is like it that we should love our neighbor as ourselves.