5 Timely Strategies

Time is of the essence. This is a term I learned well in my real-estate investing experience. If I put an offer in on a property, I wanted to dictate the terms of the Agreement from the start. I would define the offer, usually providing that it expired in twenty-four hours. This allowed me to put in multiple offers and see which sellers were willing to play ball. We can use time to our advantage.

Time is always of the essence. In every thing we do; time dictates efficacy, time defines the perimeters, time can be restrictive in so many ways. In my young parenting days, I provided home education for my five children. The days were so slow sometimes. Each child is different with different interests, abilities and aspirations. We worked together to make sure they had the basics and the courses that would allow them to pursue their individual goals.

Some of their goals changed and they were not prepared as we’d hoped, but that imperfection drew out character building attributes.  Life isn’t perfect for anyone. We all have the opportunity to decide how we will respond to the adversities we inevitably face.

Here are a few of my strategies for overcoming hardships:

1. Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. In the heat of the moment we can say harsh or damaging things. Give your self a few seconds to slow your heartbeat and interrupt the flow of bad chemicals that your body produces when you are stressed. It seems simple and it is. The physiological effects are calming and the emotional control will increase your confidence. The more often you do this, the easier and more automatic it becomes. If you are a young parent or work with lots of people, or if you rely on others to get big projects done, or if you’re breathing, you will have things that come up that will test your resolve to be happy.
2. Step away. Depending on the situation, you may need more than a few seconds. Be careful to direct your thoughts positively. Don’t use the time to pound the negative. Use it to find peace. If there are solutions that can be had, use the few minutes to plan out how you might implement a solution and figure out who you might ask to help you if needed. This can be difficult, but it has been a life saver. Sometimes there is nothing you can do. Sometimes meditating on a peaceful place or a pleasant memory or even fantasy can reduce the stress of the moment and help you to steady you emotions. You don’t have to deal with every irritation when it appears.
3. Seek to discern the difference between urgent and important. A child’s temper tantrum may seem urgent, but sometimes it is not the least bit important. The same can be said of co-workers complaints. With the incredible amount of media input most of us endure, there are constantly stories, comments, and injustices that we can respond to. There are few times when our intervention is actually important in that realm. A sick family member, a sudden death, a financial reversal, car accident, emotional security of a friend, the protection and provision of ourselves and our life goals can all be in the important category. You may think of other things. I know I can. The key is that we are able to place our energy on the important and not expend undue attention on things that, though urgent, are not important.
4. Access help. We are complex beings. I believe we are triune beings. We are a spirit, we have a soul, and we life in a body. My worldview dictates the interrelatedness of all things. No one should have to be an island alone in a sea of despair. No one needs to in a civil society. We have services and call centers for those who believe they are all alone. The rest of us need to remember to ask for help when things get overwhelming. Never let yourself become distraught without reaching out. Even better than reaching out in a crisis, would be developing relationships before you need them.
5. Prepare for possible difficulty. This could be called thinking ahead. Any project can cause frustration. We don’t know what we don’t know. Give yourself a little extra time to get things done or traveling where you haven’t been. Consider the other people involved and think about their unique needs. Small children may need snacks and distractions for a long drive. An elderly family member may need extra stops or an ill friend might need to do things at a much slower pace than you. Mechanical things break down. Foods spoil. Trash stinks. Containers sometimes leak. Whether can make a mess of plans. People are sometimes cruel.

We cannot control what happens to us, but we can decide how to respond and often impact the outcome.

What suggestions do you have that I haven’t touched on?