Taking Time to Heal from Trauma

After years of abuse and many harrowing experiences, my adrenaline had worked over time, my coping skills were few and my ability to function in a structured environment was very limited.

Our young family life was tumultuous. We moved every year, sometimes more than once in a year and there was very little security. I tended to stand quietly, as still and as inconspicuously I could, hoping not to be noticed. I tried to erase myself with a big pencil eraser on the way home from first grade. It didn’t work.

Those early coping skills probably saved my life on numerous occasions. I had been sold for sex trafficking on my 14th birthday and continued until a few days after my 18th birthday.

There were times during those years when I was arrested, placed in temporary foster care or stayed in a relatively safe place where there was little threat of injury. That felt like a stall in my life. I’d become impatient.

Those times could have been hinge moments. Even a small hinge opens a large door. If I had learned some better coping skills, I might have a had a very different experience as a young adult.

Please don’t misunderstand me. I love my family and my life that way it is now, but there was a lot of difficulty getting here.

When I found myself pregnant, just before my 18th birthday, I had to fake an abortion to get free from the man that I’d been sold to. He said he’d kill me if I didn’t abort. That was my hinge moment.

I was graciously received in the home of a woman who had a heart for young women in crisis pregnancy. She had others in her home too. This place felt like another stall. At first, I had loads of emotions. The comfort of fear was with me. The intense stress was a familiar feeling, but then when there was no threat, I had to deal with the stall of life.

I promised God that if my baby was ok, I would make sure she knew Him and the peace and safety that I was told he wanted for His people. I learned as much as I could about His Word, the Bible.

I began to understand that He created the world in a state of peace, but He gave people free will and that people chose to use it for evil deeds. It was the corruption of Satan, who wanted to have what God had, namely the worship of the people. So, that devil twisted the thoughts of people and brought all kinds of ruin to the world.

Believing this to be true allowed me to trust the Bible. I could see that the history of some people was bad, but some good. I could take the teaching parts and apply them to my life and learn to make a good life for my baby and myself.

The physical aftermath of my lifestyle had not diminished though. I still had many times of unrest. The most important skill I learned was that I started to talk to myself. Not in stories or ramblings, but encouragement.

If you have been through trauma, you must recognize that it will take time to heal. No one would expect a car accident victim to get up and get their own glass of water, if they were in traction with multiple broken bones and road rash.

The same is true for emotional trauma. The wounds are not visible to others, but they are just as real and just as physical. Brain science has recently shown that scans can show areas of trauma from abuse. There are also other complications on other systems. The endocrine, or hormone system, that helps to run our bodies are greatly affected by trauma as well.

If there is one thing I could share with a survivor of abuse, it is that you can heal, but it will take time and effort. Be patient. Get a real hold of the concept of grace.

Grace is the power of God to live in His will in this world. “For it is by grace you have been saved. It is a gift and not of yourselves, least anyone should boast.” Ephesians 2:8

Here the power of translation is exposed. When we believe that Jesus, the only begotten Son of God, was born of a virgin, grew up as a man, died as our Savior, and rose as our Lord, we are translated from darkness into light.

Fluffy words, that mean, we have a supernatural transition that changes our position and opens the door to be able to relate to God as a child and learn from Holy Spirit as a friend. We grow to become able to be coworkers together with Him in our healing and ultimately our purpose for being here on the earth.

Grace is an enormous subject. It could fill many books. Grace and peace are the keys to healing and healthy relationships. When we understand them, then we flourish.

• Find a few verses with the word grace in them.
• Decide which one gives you the most encouragement.
• Write it out and put it in places or bring it with you, so that you can see it and recite it at least 7 times per day for seven days.
• Mutter it frequently; at meals, during your break, while you’re walking, before bed, in the shower etc.

You will begin to think about grace by your effort and it will help to change the very structure of your brain, making new pathways for the power of God to be released and healing to flow.

Romans 12:2 says, “Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and perfect and acceptable will of God.”