Choose to Start

You and I have a choice everyday. We choose life or death, blessing or cursing.

We choose our thoughts. We choose our words. We choose our actions. These choices flow from our spirits. We are spiritual beings. We have a mind and we live in a body. As triune beings, we can be directed or lead on purpose or by default. If you and I don’t consciously choose, we may be dragged around by thoughts and feeling that are not beneficial.

For those of us that have a history of child abuse, especially child sexual abuse, the messages we got as children carry through to adulthood, unless and until we deal with those messages.

Specifically, we hear the message of little or no value as a person. Or worse, that we are a burden, baggage and bad. The negative messages hound us. They replay over and over again, even when we are not paying attention. They influence our decisions. Many of the self-defeating, depreciating behaviors are directly related to the beliefs that form from the way we were abused.

It is very important to realize that you are important, that you have a purpose and that you are valuable.

There is no one else in the world exactly like you. You area treasure, specially created with gifts and talents. Gifts are those things that are ridiculously easy for you. Talents are the things that are developed with effort.

You may have a gift of caring for others or building or communicating or art or cooking or innumerable other things. It just happens so easily for you, that there is no real effort involved. Your talents could be any of those, but it takes some education and practice for you to be able to do them. Everyone has some of each.

Everyone has different levels of various intelligences too. Some people are very linguistic, others are mathletic, some grasp spatial relationships and design, others are relational and have an emotional intelligence, and some people excel at kinesthetic or athletic activity.

You may not even think about these things, if you’ve been abused, but you need to. For you to be successful in this world, you need to work on your strengths and develop the skills that compliment your gifts and talents.

This is a very important part of healing from abuse. Just as a young oak tree doesn’t shed its leaves until the new ones grow, we must grow in good things and shed the negativity that holds us back.

There are a number of commercial workbooks that can help you discover your strengths. You can also just ask your self and a few trusted people what you’re good at, what comes easy to you, what makes you feel accomplished. It may take some time, but it is really important for your healing to grow in good works. I kept notebooks and wrote Bible studies. I enjoy teaching and communicating. My favorite thing to do is encourage people. I learned this by trying.

You have to choose to try. In whatever direction you go, you must start.

What should you start?