5 Ways to Navigate a Rough Road

Everyone’s got stuff, right? Everyone who knows me, has heard me say that. The fact that I have had a fair amount of difficulty in my life makes me a little more compassionate for the suffering of others. There are ways to navigate the rough roads we all face.

I have had chronic pain for as long as I remember. Doctors have told me that I am stressed or that they don’t know hat’s wrong without any treatment options. A few have cited the past abuse as the reason for all of my current ailments. They gave me no hope.

While there is something to be said for stress depleting our ability to fight infection and resist disease, the bottom line is that if you are in pain, you should seek treatment. Keep looking for ways to live a better life. I gave up on doctors, unless and until I could not manage my symptoms and it wasn’t killing me fast enough.

I urge you to keep seeking help. I was diagnosed with late stage Lyme Disease this year. Basically, it has reached my brain and affected my central nervous system. I will have IV antibiotics every day for at least a month, maybe six to help me heal. It is a rough road. Everyone has them.

But, maybe it is something else with you and you haven’t gotten relief. If you have had past abuse, especially the core violation of sexual abuse, you can employ these strategies to live with more peace and joy.

Please don’t stop trying. Here are a few things that may help you, live a little better.

1. Get counseling. Ok, so maybe you cannot afford a professional right now, but you might be able to get some help from a lay counselor. Someone who has some coaching education and experience might be able to spend time with you. Or a prayer partner or trusted friend, but keep your eyes open to getting some help sorting through the various stressors in your life. Seek to clarify areas, such as work, financial, health, past, emotional or future worries.
2. Identify cause and effect. Once you’ve identified the area(s) giving you the most trouble, then talk about what you can do to relieve the pressure. I mean realistically look at how you can make changes. Be careful not to be defeatist or overly idealistic. Get it written down and let it sit for a day or three and then go back and look at the list with a trusted accountability partner. Get some real ideas going.
3. Implement solutions. Then, implement the easiest thing first. This will help you make a change that will give the fastest and most encouraging results. It may be as simple as setting an alarm to get a task done on time consistently. It could be listening to music on your way to work to boost your mood. Maybe it is taking a bath before bed to get better sleep, but the key is to do one thing and get results.
4. Affirm success. When you have had some success, revisit your list and go through to make any adjustments in the priority and do the next easiest thing. This time, as you do more than one thing, add affirmations to the tasks. So, if you have set an alarm to complete a task, remind yourself that this is going to become an easy habit. Or that “doing this is making that better” Obviously, you’d insert the specific cause and effect. This will help keep you focused on the hope of change, even if there is not yet tangible results.
5. Absolve yourself, during evaluations. This is huge. Let’s say your trying to get along with a family member that has historically been difficult and you have a melt down, come to full yell, and mage even use language that is hurtful or damaging. If that is what you’re working on and you have been smiling at the person, keeping an even tone, thinking good thoughts about them, praying for God’s help with them, and doing things that should please them intentionally, but it happened. You have decided that this is a priority for you. Just apologize for your part, specifically mentioning where you were wrong -don’t be stingy, don’t minimize, but don’t take on false guilt either. Give it some time and attention. Then, check your strategy and add or delete any actions to get yourself right back on track. No wallowing!

These are the ways I was able to move from homeless to owning property, from trash-mouth to public speaker, from welfare mom to donating to the poor.

I was one of societies throw-away people. Now, I let everyone know that there are no throw-away people. You don’t have to be at the end of your rope to employ these strategies. They will work for the well-to-do CEO just as successfully.

What are the strategies you’d add to this list?