Carry On In Peace

Being frustrated all the time is very common in our society. Abuse survivors are numerous in our culture. We have a greater propensity toward perfectionism than that of the general population, because our sense of security and feeling in-control has been infringed upon.

Everyone wants to feel secure and have their expectations met. We all want to feel in control of ourselves and our surroundings. Who doesn’t get frustrated, right? The problem comes when we spend most of our time frustrated. Cortisol and stress chemical cascades damage our immune systems and our bodies, not to mention relationships.

So how do we deal?

• Expect the unexpected. Our plans will get interrupted sometimes. It’s nice when things go our way, but often the mishaps in our lives are great opportunities for growth. So, when you have a flat tire or a traffic jam, or one of your family members leaves a huge mess, just decide to believe for the best.
• Apologize, but don’t make excuses. If some interruption happens and it causes you to be late or cause another person distress, apologize, but be careful not to pile on the excuses. If you just got distracted and ended up not allowing for enough time, just say so. You honesty is valued.
• Evaluate your frustration. Ask yourself why you are frustrated. Is there a way to solve the problem that caused it? If it was a traffic issue, could you check for construction before you leave next time? If it was a family member who left things undone, can you wait and ask them to take care of it when you’re calm?
• Look for solutions. How can you make yourself feel more secure? If that means giving yourself more time to get ready to go out or packing everything the day before, then do what helps you. There is no normal. We all use lots of coping mechanisms. Some people call it organization. Some may think it’s weird. Each of us can choose the ways of doing things that give us peace.
• Shrug. This is huge, especially with others’ frustration. You don’t need to take on anyone else’s drama. Recognizing that they are not peaceful doesn’t automatically become your problem. When you are frustrated with yourself, this is super important too. Most of us experience minor frustration frequently throughout the day. The more we are aware, the better we can deal.

Everyone has times when they feel out of control of a situation or emotion, but we have a choice. We can train our brains to respond the way we want them to. We can choose to be peaceful and gracious.

What are some ways you deal with frustrations?