Lyme Life ~ Sick of Being Sick
As I sit here, choking down enough food to swallow my handful of pills. The fact that I am among the wealthiest people on earth is not lost on me. Some of these medications are very expensive and I can go to my fridge or the grocer and get fresh fruit to eat. I can still walk, albeit wobbly at times. My brain is still working, for the most part. I have a wonderful family and some pretty terrific friends. Still, I am sick of being sick.
Health is Priceless
After a while of sitting very still, I took my dog for a walk through the woods. I know, my doctor says he doesn’t want to hear that I’m walking through the woods. I live in a town with three major campgrounds and few sidewalks. There aren’t too many places to walk.
Unsurprisingly, I noticed a certain tree. It was fine and strong looking on one side, but as I passed by it, I could see it partially hollowed. It had been eaten by bugs and subsequently rotted from the inside out. Lyme is like that. People with Lyme can look fine, even strong, because of the scant diet and low BMI of its victims. They are attacked from the inside, but eventually they start to show the damage.
Most days, I take my handful of meds and try to do a few things around the house. I haven’t worked at my job for a year now. I wonder how many people could still manage on one income in this economy. Thank God, we can. It meant going broke the year we were supposed to be rebuilding from the massive losses of our real estate investing fore’.
I want to quit everything, but what then? Will the disease then resurge and destroy what’s left? That tree is still standing. It has some healthy looking branches, protective bark, and plenty of good stalk left to keep it for a long time, if the insects leave it alone.
Risk is Inevitable
The risks of treatment verses the risk of no treatment are a daily struggle for a Lyme sufferer. I will stay with it a while longer. Who knows if I might not have the opportunity in the future? There are many reasons that I might not have access to these meds.
There is too much to do. Too many lives are at stake. Too many hearts to change. People don’t know that God loves them. He does, you know. He loves you.
For all of the pain I have been through, for all the trauma, the betrayal, none of it compares to the hope that remains. The hope that every tear will be wiped away, that eternity will be without pain. From my couch, I can still tell them. In my books, my blog, in conversations, I can still tell people that there is hope and healing. There is a peace that passes all understanding.
The whole world is like that tree; eaten from the inside. It looks fine until one day, it will collapse. For now, Let’s keep encouraging each other. Stay strong, my friends.