Kill the Baby

Holli was just 18. She had been raped by her mother’s husband. The answer to the problem? Kill the baby, of course. When she got pregnant, Holli could have been spared the painful rapes, if she’d been allowed to live.

Holli was repeatedly raped, suffered sexually transmitted disease and all the trauma of betrayal by a mother who did not protect her. Then, when she got pregnant, they decided they had to kill the baby. The baby hidden inside of Holli could have saved her from more abuse. The little one was full of evidence that Holli had been abused. His or her DNA would have pointed to her mother’s husband.

Holli didn’t make it. They killed her too. In what must have been a horrific scene, Holli and her baby were brutally killed. They cut her uterus out. Perhaps, they thought the evidence could be disposed of.

We grieve Holli. Her young life is a sign of a society in decline. When a child is pregnant by rape, many people resort to the same thinking: Kill the baby.

Killing the baby will never un-rape a child or a woman.

Abortion won’t take away the betrayal.

It won’t heal the trauma.

In another recent article, a woman claims she had a dream that she was pregnant by rape. Her dream was my nightmare. She had read of a child, pregnant by rape and decided that ‘they’ should kill the baby. Again, this theme is found. Where does it come from? Can you really believe that forcibly opening her uterus and chopping up her child will help her? Can you not see that this is another form of rape?

For Holli, her baby might have been able to save her. If the authorities had protected her. Instead, even though she told them that the forced sex hurt her, they sent her back for more abuse.

Holli’s story hits me hard. Saving my baby saved my life. When I was 18, I was held as a sex slave, after years of sex trafficking. I suffered so many depravations. Days without food or shelter, unable to sleep because buyers were there around the clock or not having clothing or shoes for my feet were minor when compared to the brutal rapes and horrific shame.

Holli had a baby. She was 13 weeks gestation. Her baby had all of the features you and I have. Tiny fingernails and everything needed to live, except time. In only 6 months, she would have given birth.

Pregnancy is temporary. Her death is permanent.

Rape is horrible. But, please don’t kill the baby. Women like me can recover from sexual abuse. It doesn’t ever go away, but it was not our fault that crimes were perpetrated on us. Babies conceived by rape are not at fault either. They are secondary victims. We are survivors. They are the criminals.

I will never have to feel guilty for violating the rights of my baby. My child is grown now and she and I are great friends. I do not think I would be here if it weren’t for her. I had no reason to live. She gave me purpose.

The next time you hear about a girl who is pregnant by rape, please don’t say, “Kill the baby.”

She needs real help, months or years of counseling, resources, and options for how to manage herself and her baby. Be the help. Donate to pregnancy resource centers and maternity homes. Advocate for her. Hug her.

Life is a journey. You’ll meet her on your path. Our culture is often very cruel. It happens every day.

Be the help.