Lyme Life Monday~Redeeming the Time
Lyme is so overwhelming. It seems like I’ve been in a bubble full of pain, fatigue, restlessness, and distraction for 18 months. So many days, if I didn’t think I was going to die, I wanted to. Last summer was the worst. I had great difficulty communicating. I stuttered, stammered, and stalled. Writing was arduous. Reading was impossible some of that time. Then, after a terrible emotional stress last autumn, I became very isolated. Redeeming the time is for everyone, but when we approach death’s door, we have a different outlook.
Redeeming the time
I’m very thankful for my wonderful husband, family, and a long distance friend for getting me through. The time I spent alone was by no means a waste. I listened to gifted speakers on TED, watched uplifting TV. A few times per week, I spent some time stretching to worship music. I prayed and I prayed. Even when I couldn’t maintain a thought through to a conclusion, I called out to God.
Mindfullness
The few short passages of Scripture that I could recite or positive affirmations were key also.
- I will live and not die
- I shall run and not grow weary, walk and not faint
- He gives His rest and wraps the band of slumber ’round my head
- In all my getting, I get understanding
- Be kind, tenderhearted, forgiving one another
- He is the Light of Life, especially in my dark days
- I’m getting stronger
Not being busy with work or my volunteering gave me the opportunity to research Lyme and co-infections. I learned a lot. I owe a debt of gratitude for my doctor too. He worked with me and listened to me. I’ve been struggling with the symptoms for well over 30 years. Most doctors that I saw dismissed my observations. We talked about lots of options and tried a lot of things. I learned that Lyme is usually a group of vector-borne diseases and that makes it difficult to recognize and difficult to treat. I also learned that you can get better.
Dr. Caroline Leaf is a cognitive neuroscientist. I signed up and followed the 21 Day Brain Detox, even when I could not remember to participate every day. Thankfully, I have stuck with it for months, along with the many supplements, few prescriptions, and my exercise program. I think that I might not be here if I hadn’t. The pain was so bad for so long that I was sure my family would be just fine and I could just die peacefully.
Finding Reason
There must be something very important for me to do. Perhaps it is to encourage you, so you can do something amazing. As I get better, my hope is that I have enough in my journal to piece together some things that help and pass them along. Even if I cannot figure out the things that helped me, as I get clearer thinking and more energy, I can share what helps others.
If you have Lyme Disease or think you might because you have chronic, unconnected, crazy-frustrating, undiagnosed symptoms, I suggest that you search out info on FB, Youtube and google for bloggers and medical articles. Be warned. It can be very depressing out there. Make sure you guard your heart and mind. Read things that encourage and inspire, recommend treatment options that help others, and help you to think good thoughts.
Please use the time that you have productively. We all need down time. Zoning out in front of a screen is not bad, but at some point, it does become wasted. That’s what I mean by “redeeming the time”.