No Liberty Without Consent

Consent is a compact between people, that they agree to certain terms equally, cooperatively. There is no liberty without consent.

Consent is by Free Will

This principle has implications for all aspects of our lives. Most importantly, our creator has given us free will to enter into agreement with Him and follow His ways here on earth and then, live with Him in heaven for eternity.

The next most common place this principle is noticed is probably immigration. When people come to the US through proper channels, they are exposed to and are asked to agree with our cultural standards of living. They then, enter into our social contract of behavior. We can be free because we know the people around us will abide by the rules we all understand and know to be reasonable in our culture.

Other cultures may or may not have any concept of this. My son was in Africa years ago and noticed a striking difference in the way people thought about the blessings of God. A man dropped money in front of them at the market, one of the young men he was with picked it up and kept it and called it a blessing. I would call it stealing. They knew he dropped it by accident. They all saw him, they were close enough to point it out to him. That is one small cultural difference.

No Liberty Without Consent

In relationships, consent is ultra important. Consent is the liberty to say, “yes” or “no” to any proposal.

Rape and sex trafficking are examples of the antithesis of  this principle. Of course, those are extreme, but there are all kinds of subtle ways consent is abused. Parents or spouses can bully one another. Some people in the church use God’s words against others to get them to comply, unwillingly. Law enforcement pulling people out of their cars and homes without cause induces terror. Lawmakers who lie about their positions to get elected, and then write law contrary to what their constituents agreed they wanted is common.

Let’s bring it in. There may be ways for you and me to impact society, but I think it must start to work at home to be effective.

• Spouses
• Children
• Parents
• Coworkers and associates
• Extended family members
• Church or social groups
• School and other close circles of people
• Clerks and service providers

These are all people we choose to interact with. These are all people that we consent to live with, in various degrees. Family structure may be different from home to home but within that unit, a bond of trust can only be found if consent is established.

Consent is Trust

My childhood was tumultuous. Abuses of all kinds were perpetrated. Justice had no room in some of my relationships, particularly with my biological, paternal family. I was a fearful, angry child.

I sought to bring my children up differently, but not having the example, I found that I often resorted to bullying tactics.

My husband grew up with a great dad, but he died young. So, he had a good foundation, but the intricacies of a good marriage were not well established in his mind.

Establishing consent in our home meant family meetings, where we discussed cooperation and chores, expectations and assurances. My husband and I started. We had meetings where we would talk about one or two things that irritated us. We decided together, what we might be able to change or at least, work on that week or month. As our consistency and consent grew, we extended that to the children as much as we could.

Consent doesn’t just happen. It has to be delineated. It has to be “on the table”.

Hammering out agreements doesn’t always have to be so formal, but for us, it was necessary. Our baggage and my trauma background required it. We had to discuss what we believe is reasonable for each of our family members. Then, we could come to agreement and consent to one another.

When we know what is expected from us and we know what to expect from those around us, we can be free to explore, to reach and grow and try new things. We are safe.

I hope you are always safe. I hope you can establish consent in your home and relationships.

Our country may already be lost, but our homes don’t have to be.