Discretion is the Height of Compassion

I strongly believe that discretion is the height of compassion, especially for victims of crime.

A couple of weeks ago, the story of Brock Turner was broadly publicized. His face was splattered all over social media and rightly so. He perpetrated crimes, for which he was properly convicted. He doesn’t deserve anonymity and he doesn’t deserve to be given preferential treatment, because of his family, or athletic ability, or his looks, or any other qualifier.

Discretion is the Height of Compassion for Victims

His victim’s face was not splattered and shared on social media and rightly so. Why should she be further victimized? The comments and judgments were flying as it was. Her dignity was relatively maintained.

This past week, another story has hit the internet. This one involved a minor child, who had been raped. The only thing is that she was not respected. Her face was everywhere. Thousands and thousands, maybe as many as two million, people saw this child and shared in her trauma. Her vexation was splattered all over the internet. Her dignity was an afterthought, at best and disregarded, at worst.

Heartbroken, I had posted the story to my wall on FB to read later. I thought it would be more discrete than some of the other posts I’d seen, but alas, it was worse. When I read it a couple of hours later, I was dismayed at my lack of common sense. All the videos and photos that I did not intend to share were embedded in the post.

I am ashamed at my emotional response to the situation. I should have used more reason. My heart was so broken for her. I did not intend to perpetuate her further exposure.

When I was being sold for sex at fourteen years old, there was no such thing as the internet, forget about social media. My indiscretion came from my history of trauma.

That’s no excuse.

We crave justice, especially, if we’ve been through some stuff. Generally, the best advocates have been through stuff. It may or may not be exactly what they are advocating for or against, but they have passion borne out of pain. Pro-life advocates are very passionate. We know when there is a matter of life and death that we will have to take a stand.

The problem with that is, on occasion, something triggers that trauma and its presence can throw our judgment off.

Posting the poor girl’s story was an irrevocable action. I took it down in just a couple of hours, but others had shared it from my page by then. All I can do is ask forgiveness.

Lesson learned.

If I want to go back and get more details from any story on social media, I will write myself a note.

You probably would have never known about my indiscretion, but I thought it was important enough to share. I will most definitely be more careful about sharing stories on social media and I hope you have already been more cautious than I was.

When stories are shared too quickly, they may be subject to all kinds of questions. They may incite all kinds of responses too. I shudder to think of what the comments sections of some stories look like. Spewing hatred and condemnation of all sorts.

Some people say things that they would never, in a million years, say to a person’s face. Worse, there are some who would be so cruel. Most of us would not tell another person that they should be killed or their mother should have aborted them. We cannot fathom anyone saying that in person, but the plain fact is some people do not see the internet as any different that being in a room full of people. They are willing to say whatever is on their minds, no matter how hurtful it may be.

What happened to manners? For me, it was a lack of thoughtfulness. I am ashamed to say. I usually recognize that there could be thousands of people that might see anything I post. Posting the story without any photos or the video of the girl, might not have gotten quite as much traction, but it would have been more compassionate. She and her family will have this indelible digital mark on them for the rest of their lives.

Help is best served with discretion.

Discretion is the height of compassion. God’s word says, “Love covers a multitude of sins.”