Decisions, Decisions!

We all make them. Decisions have always come pretty easy to me. Some people I know have a very difficult time making decisions. From the smallest choice to the largest, life-changing ones, we make decisions all day every day.

I was pulling weeds from my vegetable garden this week and contemplating the various scenarios of a decision I’d been working on. It’s no simple task sometimes to be firmly settled on doing certain things. There are often intrusive thoughts or implications that get in the way of sound decision making.

Like the weeds in my garden, that strangle my plants and prevent them from bearing good fruit, negative thoughts can strangle good decision making. There are ways of sorting through the insignificant, unfruitful, irrelevant, or distracting thoughts. Decisions are particularly difficult for people who have been through trauma. We often struggle with intrusive thoughts.

Take the time to step back and think.

Some things require immediate attention, but we seldom have to make on-the-spot decisions. “Let me get back to you about that” or “I’ll need some time to let that simmer before I can answer” are very reasonable responses to unexpected requests or events. Sorting through the possible implications is important for most decisions but especially so for the big ones.

Talk through the pros and cons with someone you trust.

Hearing yourself say what you think can be very enlightening. Sometimes just having a conversation will reveal the heart of a problem and expose the answer that might have stayed hidden. Be careful about making yourself vulnerable to the wrong people. That can be disastrous. If you don’t have a person around, it might still be a good idea to talk about the situation as though you were talking with someone else and imagine what they might say. Be careful to discount intrusive thoughts that condemn you as a person.

Write out life altering decisions.

Putting something in writing can really help clarify your thoughts. If it is a big decision, having a quasi-concrete statement can really help. Leaving a job or volunteer position is best done calmly and with careful thought. Writing out a resignation can be liberating, but it can also be revealing. If it is full of blame or complaints, there might be some other issues to deal with. When opting for a new job or looking for a house, writing down the potential implications can be so helpful. Does it really fulfill all that you’re looking for? Will there be room for growth? Stuff like that.

Make simple decisions fast.

Small decisions are not always simple. It may be simple to decide what you’ll have for dinner or it might not be. If it means going to the grocery store and buying food, that adds to the process. That should not stop you unless you have no car or no money. The more you agonize over small decisions, the more likely you will experience the same kind of anxiety over large ones. Training yourself to decide is worth the effort.

Make complicated decisions slowly.

Taking plenty of time to decide where you live or what you do for work or who to be in a relationship with is super important. There are a lot of things to consider. These are complex decisions with a lot of moving parts. Being aware of your dreams and goals and your aptitude for future change all factor in, but so too do the uncontrollable variables. Thinking about them for a while and then setting it aside to come back to can be liberating and it gives you a chance to reevaluate after some time has passed. A day or a week can mean the difference between an emotional decision and a rational decision.

Check your heart with the Word of God.

Our decisions matter. Every one of them matters. God cares about everything in your life. He wants to show us his goodness in every way possible. If we know the Scriptures, we can make decisions that will be good for us. The Bible is like a handbook with history, law, examples of good and bad behavior, and full of promises, not the least of which is that God has a plan for a future and a hope for our good.

Proverbs 4:20-23New King James Version (NKJV)