Who’s the Hero?

At the SCORRE Conference this week, I gave three speeches. The first one was pretty much upon arrival. So, I didn’t know the people I was speaking to. More importantly, I was unprepared and exhausted. Usually, I ask, “Who’s the hero?”

Who’s the hero?

My coach got up, his eyes welled up, put his hand on my shoulder and said, “First of all, I’m so sorry.” That was not the way I wanted to start the conference. He reminded me of some important things that I know about speaking but didn’t practice. I was totally inconsiderate of my audience, which is very unusual for me. I think it was because I was there for me, for my education. Normally, when I do a speech, it is because I am serving a group. I apologized for being callous and they forgave me.

The last night, I gave the speech, the way I would have liked to on Monday, more in keeping with the way I usually do, because it was for them, not for me. So, the main points of my testimony were there but told in a gentle way, interspersed with encouragement that brought joy to the group, instead of heartbreak.

Ryan, my coach, was so helpful and kind. He said that on Monday, pain was the hero and on Wednesday, when I remembered why I was really there -to serve the audience, God was the hero of the speech.

That hit me hard.

Public Speaking

You might not have a career in public speaking, but you probably do talk to people. How many times do we go through our day thinking about the painful experiences or the frustrating difficulties of life and we share those with the people around us? In those conversations, who’s the hero? Perhaps, better stated who or what is the main focus of our communications?

Even when we just run through events in our minds, do we think about what we are thinking about or how we are thinking about them. In general, I try to make a habit of meditating on good stuff. I am intentional about directing my thoughts and not allowing myself too many pity parties or rotten ruminating events.

Trauma survivors have difficulty with various situations. We might recall the feelings physically. The sensations are often triggered by sights, sounds, smells, or other stimuli, often referred to as triggers. I have learned self-soothing techniques that really help. I’ll elaborate on more next week, but the ultimate for me has been to remind myself that I’m ok.

So, I look around and tell myself where I am, maybe how old I am, maybe the date or some other grounding circumstance and I always remember that our Benevolent Creator is with me, ready to help me through anything.

Hard Topics

During my speech, I told of the time, when I was 17, threatened that I would be killed if I didn’t abort and I asked God to show up. He did. My life and my way of life changed forever. From then on, I realized that I could choose how to think and make decisions to direct my life, as opposed to floating downstream into some unknown, unstable, unhealthy existence.

You can choose your hero. It’s not easy and it’s not a one-time thing. You and I have to be vigilant at all times, but we can. If you are not a believer, maybe the hero is peace, maybe it’s justice, maybe it’s achievement. I’d encourage you to choose some positive hero and banish the negative. I’m praying for you.

So, who’s the hero today?