Rahab’s Gift of Faith

I don’t think I have Rahab’s gift of Faith. Rather than preserve my dignity, I am posing the question to you. Would you shrug or meltdown?

De Launch!

Some of you may know that the online course I wrote with the help of Sarah Quale, from National Personhood Alliance Education and Jasmine Grace, Joshua Edmonds, and so much support and help from my wonderful husband, was supposed to be ready for acquisition Wednesday. I usually get a blog post out Wednesdays, but the one I’d planned was no longer relevant.

Final review of Responding to Human Trafficking for Pregnancy Resource Centers revealed technical difficulties, beyond anything we could have anticipated. Instead of sending enrollment forms, I sent an apology. For the last couple of days, we have tried to figure out what the issue is and how to solve it, to no avail.

The Fail

I cried so hard, my face is still swollen, nearly 24 hours later. “God is not with me,” I thought, “If He were, surely this couldn’t happen.” I’m reminded that my dear friends, completely trusted God and yet, circumstances didn’t come together as planned. This world is broken. Heaven is where perfection reigns, not earth. Faith isn’t a prescription for happiness and obtaining your desires. It is an operating system for life on earth.

I wonder how long it was that Rahab waited for the men of God to return. Did she ever doubt her decisions? Those seven days, as the army of Israel marched around the city, I wonder how she and her family felt, what they talked about. Imagine that circumstance. Do you think you would have withstood seven days of not knowing what would happen?

My faith faltered at the loss of a deadline. I cannot imagine awaiting the silent army’s attack, only to watch them retreat each day for the first six days. On the seventh, as they marched around the city seven times, finally blowing the trumpets and shouting with all of their might toppling the great walls.

Thankfulness

“Give thanks in all things,” the Scripture says. It doesn’t say give thanks for all things, but in the midst of everything, no matter what is going on, give thanks. Rahab and her family were brought out of the city to safety. Her home and business were utterly destroyed with the entire city and culture she had known. Only she and her family were left alive.

Her only option was to start from scratch and build a new life. Thankfully, Salmon, one of the spies married her and they raised Boaz to be a kine and gentle, astute business owner. Set backs are sometimes set-ups for bigger and better plans for the future. In Rahab’s case, to change the world.

So, I have recovered and given thanks. The problem is not resolved, perhaps it won’t be. The course is designed to be a useful tool and so it will be, somehow. Right now, only God knows. It has already helped some people. For that I am grateful.

Hope

I hope it will be more beneficial to more people. Even if it isn’t, as long as we are breathing, we have a hope and a future. Can you relate? Perhaps, some project you worked on didn’t accomplish all you’d hoped. Maybe, there has been a plan that just didn’t come together or a job opportunity afforded to someone else.

Do you revert to fear and anger at loss, the way I did? I’m wondering how universal it really is. Maybe, it is tied to the abuses and trauma from my past. I think of myself as a healed person. While, I don’t wallow in the pain, I do acknowledge the core violation of child sexual abuse and juvenile sex trafficking with all the violence, deprivations, shame, and guilt. It doesn’t stop me from trying to build my life, but this seemed like a huge loss.

I worked on it for nearly a year and spent thousands of dollars to make it happen. Then, just days before it was to go ‘live’ half of the modules wouldn’t play. In trying to figure it out, two more were out of commission. There may be other ways of working with it, but so far, it is not as expected.

Effect

Emotional upset doesn’t affect the outcome of the project or the answer to the problem. Although it might have stalled the acquisition of an answer, since I was too frazzled to think straight.

Would you shrug and patiently search for an answer? Or have a mini meltdown, like me?