Don’t Hide Your Warts

Don’t hide your warts, but you don’t need to showcase them either.

Everyone’s got ‘um

Every person has some form of warts. With filters and editing on every device we can hide the superficial, visible imperfections. Maybe you have freckles or scars that you don’t like. Or you don’t think your body shape is what you want. Perhaps, you have a hair type that is hard for you to manage.

Instagram and FB or HBO and cable TV shows seldom depict reality. No one is a perfect ten. If you are old enough, you might remember Bo Derek in the movie Ten. I recall an interview with her and she talked about a scar on her leg that was carefully avoided in the film. Our bodies are never going to be perfect, this side of heaven.

We live in a corrupted world. It is not as it was created. We won’t see perfection until we get to heaven. Our bodies are the only way we can live this life and interact with the world. Each of us are perfectly created for our purpose and there is something wrong with every one of us. If you share the experience of the core violation of sexual abuse, especially childhood sexual abuse, it might feel like a lot is wrong. You may not be able to see yourself the way others do.

Don’t let anything like that way you look, stop you from fulfilling your destiny.

Warts are ugly

Each of us have our ugly parts. Not all of them are literal. Some are forms of behavior. Jealousy or greed are warts on our character. Hate is the biggest, ugliest wart a person can have.

Our attitudes are formed by an initial thought. Some of the things we think need to be rejected. If we nurture negative thoughts, we will grow warts on our behavior.  Wrong thoughts aren’t usually obvious. We have to be careful to think about what we are thinking about.

In my work, I meet a lot of different people. Most are civil. Some are not, but everyone has warts. Attitudes and actions that degrade or depreciate people almost always lead to an elitist mentality. Whenever I encounter someone who hates freedom, I wonder what they have been thinking. What is in the mind of a person who wants to control other people?

Perhaps, they actually want to protect others. If so, evidence of that will be in their willingness to have an open minded conversation. One that employs logic and evidence. One that is not so charged with emotion that their thinking mind is shut off. If they are raising the pitch and intensity of their argument without actively listening to counter points, I know they are not thinking clearly. Emotion doesn’t care about truth. When confronted, emotion is often an ugly wart, especially for people in public policy.

Ideas have consequences. Life and death are in the power of the tongue. The words we use create our world by preparing our perspective, individually. When leaders, whether in government or policy influencers, use words, life and death are very real. The lives and deaths of other people are often literally impacted.

Don’t hide

I doesn’t help to hide our warts. They will usually get uncovered at the most inopportune times.

There are a few people who are currently showcased in the media, primarily social media, whose warts of hatred are glaring. Anti-Semitic remarks from a congresswoman and elitist policy that will mean the deaths of many of society’s smallest and most defenseless members are just a few. Those are the big stories, but there are millions of people walking around with the same warts of hatred in our neighborhoods and in our schools or places of business.

If we all have them, the thing to do is self examination. Let’s catch the buggers before they are in need of surgical removal, like the ones above. I have a wart on my forehead. It’s hardly noticeable to the average person that I come in contact with. If you were to spend any significant time with me, you’d surely notice at some point. It hasn’t changed or become a problem. I observe it, just in case it turns cancerous.

We must do the same with our thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors. If I have the thought that you are a fool and I let that thought fester, it may grow into a habit of making disparaging comments. Then, if I don’t keep that in check, I may tweet those comments or worse, actually say something terrible to or about you. Ultimately, if I don’t change my thinking, I may take action that would be bad for you or not take action that would be good for you, because I have nurtured negativity.

Don’t showcase them either

We all have warts, but most are benign. I have one on my chin that requires attention from time to time. A heavy hair grows out of it. So, I tweeze it. It’s harmless, but I don’t want to draw attention to it. In my work, I am often referring back to my experiences of the core violation of child sexual abuse and juvenile sex trafficking. Even though that is necessary for me to expose the problems and help people find solutions, it’s important that I not draw too much attention to the details. The specifics of the actual events are often unnecessary.

By going into too much detail, the conversation is diverted. The ugliness of shame and guilt are not the priority and can actually be harmful to solution finding in some ways. The imposed shame of abuse is there, but manageable. Just as we’d pluck a hair, we must pluck the thoughts and feelings of shame from time to time.

It astonishes me when people flaunt a character flaw. Hatred is a really big wart that everyone can see. Actively pushing for the destruction of human beings or using people for personal gain or denying the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is ugly.

Life is a journey. Along the way, you only have this moment. So, take a look in the mirror and examine yourself. Be the best you can be. Be kind.